Ahh, winter. The leaves are crisp and the ground is icy. The air is cold and, as I walk to the subway at 8:08 on the weekday mornings, I see the chill that has come to inhabit my sad, lonely heart exhale out from my mouth as my lips freeze and my heart warms because TOP CHEF IS BACK, BABY!
Yes! Last Wednesday night’s TV schedule was AMPED UP to 11!! I was super jazzed to see the show this season not only because I love this fool, but because the show was filmed in JEW YORK, which means that Padma and Tom might grace some fabulous little NYC nook & Cranny neighborhood that I’VE ACTUALLY BEEN TO with their presence. Then, over Christmas, when I’m at home watching Top Chef reruns with my mom, I can be all like, “Oh ya, I’ve been to that place where they’re cooking blindfolded right now. Its like so last summer,” and my mom will be like, “what? oh. What?” and then I’ll sigh and mom will burp and it will be just like nothing ever changed.
Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, TOP CHEF!!
Since its like, impossible, and stupid to talk about all the contestants on the TC premeire (as some of them will be gone soon and most are dumb anyway) I’ve decided to pick my 4 favs to watch this season and focus on just them.
Please note: I’m picking these chef-testants based on cooking skills (even though we haven’t seen much) background (althought I don’t really care) and how much these fools look like muppet characters whose pictures I could readily find on teh internet (because that’s what really matters). So here we go:
1) The Sure Thing: Stefan
Ok, let me ask you a question? Why have this guy on the show? Why? Seriously? The smug European smirk on this dude’s face has already pissed me off and I hate that TC isn’t even trying anymore to create the illusion of an even playing field. Like, Stefan the Finnish Master Chef vs. Ariane, the fava bean loving mom from New Jersey?
I don’t think so.
This guy is obviously going to win it all. He’s an asshole and we all know that Tom respects assholes and Padma wants to do them. So there’s the title. You’re welcome
2. The Fan Fav: Richard
This guy had me at his cute little comment about what a bear Tom Coliccio is. How adorable, he has a crush!!!!!!!! I love him already. Richard is so right for Bravo’s fag/hag audience; he’s my favorite gay character on TV right now, even higher than Mark from Ugly Betty and THAT’S saying something!
3. The Immigrant With The Heart of Gold: Gene
Look, Mom! It’s the American dream! This Latino pulled himself up by his apron straps to become a great chef, even without the help of Culinary School! He’s the Barack Obama of Top Chef! If Gene wins Top Chef, it will be a symbol for People of Color everywhere that in America ANYONE can rise to the highest office in the land…YES WE CAN!!!
Really though, I thought this whole story was played out until I saw this picture on the Bravotv.com website:
And, like the silly woman that I am, I was sold. GO GENE! GENE, GENE, GENE, FOR THE WIN, WIN WIN!!!
The Insane-a-zoid: Carla
And thats really all I got.
Ultimately I like last week’s episode. Exotifying the various New York neighborhoods’ cuisine was pretty great for a first challenge, although the pizza challenge in Chicago reigns supreme with me, as far as first challenges go. I dunno, with this season of Top Chef, I feel like its just, well, it’s indulgent. How many Top Chefs can there be before the title becomes obsolete?
OOO, you know what I would love to see? A TOP CHEF chef-off!!! Can you imagine: Harold, Ilan, Hung, Stephanie and whoever wins this season (cough Stefan cough)throwing down to see who is ACTUALLY Top Chef? That would be AMAZING!!!!!
Until then, we’ll be back each week for live chats and updates. ENJOY!