Hello, Holiday people! We here at Groceryhag.wordpress.com hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving full of Turkey, wine and constipation. Please excuse me for not blogging Top Chef last week. Wednesday night I was at a hotel in the District of Columbia that had the ODDEST selection of TV stations available. 4 ESPNs, C-SPAN, TLC, BIO and The History Channel but no Bravo!? BLASPHEMY! I almost cried. No, seriously, I did. Ask Ben.
Anyway
Andie and I, always looking for new ways to transfer the excitement and energy of Top Chef into blog form, decided to do a live TCGchat this week. I think our conversation is pretty lolzy, and I hope you will too. Unfortunatley, however, we only got half way through the show before Gmail gave out. So you’ll have to scroll to the bottom for my notes on the second half of Episode 4 which we’re calling: “Spitgate, Revisited,” or “How I learned to get passed the haircut and love Ariane.” ENJOY!
Allie: Im here, but i dont feel good so i’m not gonna be that much fun
Andie: hiii. oh boo! Do you want to chat whilst you watch or just watch and comment tomorrow?
me: lets chat a little
Andie: k
Allie: until my computer dies
Andie: k
Allie: where’d you go tonight again?
Andie: Rock center
Allie: o ya
Andie: friend of Brian’s had an office party to watch the tree lightling
Allie: you watched a tree?
Andie: yeah
Allie: was it fun?
Andie: ya!
Allie: did you see Britney?
Andie: on TV, we were far away
Andie: put it on! almost time!
Allie: Ok, here we go!
Andie: wooohooo, Top Chef!
I loved the Foo Fighters after last week. I always had luke warm feelings but now there’s love
Allie: I like that they are obviously fans and they acted like I would have, like smart asses.
Andie: exactly! A smart ass in awe though! I read an interview with Richard who said they really knew their stuff
Allie: I bet
Andie: who knew the foos were such foodies?
Allie: Foo Foodie
Andie: haha
Allie: FOOdie
Andie: Foodie Fighters?
Allie: i almost just typed “doodie”
haha!
Andie: ha ooops
I still laugh everytime Jeffrey winks in the credits
EVERY TIME
who does that?
Allie: Jefferey is the one from Vegas?
o there he is
Andie: Hello, Long Island City!
yeah with the hair
Allie: I like that last week was HAPPY THANKSGIVING but they filmed it in summer
Andie: ha I know
Wait, is Alex not on Team Rainbow?
Allie: nope
Andie: I feel like he should be
Allie: Jamie is the only one left
Andie: I kinda think Alex is closeted on Team Rainbow
Andie: oh FIANCE
Allie: Jamie is like a counselor we had at Ranch Camp
like a lesbian with tattoos
Andie: she is so a camp counsler
hiiii Rocco
Allie: Ya, one who makes string bracelets
I hate Rocco
he’s such an asshole
Andie: Team Rainbow team leader?
I know
Allie: ahhaha Fabio just outed him as “not Italian”
Andie: I don’t think the chefs respect him
Allie: Did you ever watch “The Restaurant”?
Rocco’s reality show about opening his Restaurant that ultimately failed?
Andie: nah
Allie: it was hiarious
Andie: I love breakfast, great Quick Fire.
Allie: It was just his waiters and waitresses hating him and talking shit
Wasn’t Rocco on “Dancing with the Stars”?
Andie: except I prefer brunch
hahah love that
Allie: Eww, Jamie, Chef Boyardee is not breakfast
Andie: I think he was on “Dancing With The Stars,” ya.
Allie: no Beefaroni for breakfast!
Andie: no it isn’t
Allie: I think i’d make an omlette
Andie: I love the word amuse busch
it sounds elegant
Allie: ooo or MIGAS
def. migas
Andie: my favvvvv
I had those in texas – LOE
LOVE I mean
Allie: does Jeff work at a place called the “Dildo Beach Club”?
Andie: that is some good looking bacon
Allie: ????
Andie: what?!?!
Allie: I swear thats what the little tag under his name said
no bacon in Italy? I’m never going to Italy
mmmm Brioche
Andie: guess not
I knowww
mmmmmm baconeggandcheese sammy
the New Yorker knows her stuff
Allie: did you know that 3 of the 4 top chef winnrs graduated from CIA?
I looked it up
Andie: I didn’t
that’s a good fact!
Allie: thank you!
I love Egg in the Hole
Andie: huevos racheros!
I’m shocked the german did that
Allie: I thought Stefan was “Team Europe”
why is he from LA all the sudden?
He’s Finnish, not German
Andie: I guess that’s where he lives?
Allie: He doesn’t get to have it both ways.
Fried potato on every plate
Andie: dude pick a home and stay there!
Allie: potato people are my kind of people
Andie: zuccini flower? interesting….
Allie: ew, not my kind of brekki, no veggies for breakfast.
Andie: chili maple syrup? mmm sounds good Ariane
Allie: stuffed french toast
YUM
Ariane is on a roll, I really didn’t see that coming
ooo BLT breakfast sandwich
Andie: Jaime’s looks burnt, no?
Allie: its balsamic
Andie: ahhhh
Allie: Leah underwhelms me
fried Sage though, yum
Andie: which one is she? New York?
Allie: interesting
she’s from New York, yeah
Andie: oh, Fabs “another Italian!”
Allie: God I love Fabio
Andie: Fabs = Fabio
Allie: What Fabio made looks amazing!
Andie: Woah, Padma knocked him down
Allie: surprise!
they must have slept together already and now she’s over it.
Padma looks gorgeous
so good this season
the New York air works for her
Andie: yeah it does
aw Fabio is such a good loser
Allie: hahahah Fabio!
Andie: well sorta, he started out good
Allie: “bullshit eggs”
mmm my fav
Andie: and then was like “bullshit bacon”
Allie: I’d like to try some fried Sage
Andie: it must have won it for her
Allie: UGH! Rocco’s book!
Andie: seriously everytime Rocco comes on someone “wins” his book
Allie: I hate when they give away their books
I know! It’s dispicable, its like, atleast PRETEND your here for another reason besides promoting your new book, a-hole.” Everyone i’m watching with just went, “UGH!”.
Andie: about the book or about Leah?
Allie: the book
Did you know that Ted Allen can’t come on Top Chef anymore?
Andie: ahhhhhh NOW I know why Rocco is here – its part of the challenge – be in the public
totally makes sense
Allie: b/c he has a new Food Network show
Andie: sad! I love Ted Allen, he’s hilarious
Omg what is Beaker going to do on live TV?!?!
Allie: She’s gonna freak the fuck out, that’s what she’s gonna do.
Ya, his Food Network show is basically a Top Chef rip off
Andie: hilar – can’t wait
Allie: this episode is like, “The Next Food Network Star”
Did you ever watch that?
Andie: a little yeah
Allie: they did this exact challenge, but on Rachael Ray’s show
Andie: Top Chef is better
Yeah, they did. You’re right.
Allie: OMG Fabio is going to have such a hard time with this challenge.
Andie: and Rachael had to prep them or something
Allie: You saw that?
Rachael was just there with them, helping
Andie: on the Next Food Network Star? I think so.
Something similar at least
Allie: ya
Andie: off the reoord: live blogging is hard! paying attention to two things at once?!
Allie: I should go on that show
I know!
just type what you’re thinking
it is hard thoguh
oh shit is this off the record?
Andie: of course
we can delete whatever we want obvi
Allie: no but it won’t save
like in my “chats’ FOLDER
folder
whatever i’ll just paste it into my email
Andie: why won’t it save?
wait – mine may not either – im on gchat not in gmail
hmmm…
i can copy and paste too i think
Allie: o you’re not?
whatever
Andie: I think I can copy and paste too
Allie: I’m sure you can
Andie: ok are you watching this commercial – one restaurant for one day for the next 50 years in NY?
Good thing we likes to eat!
Allie: There’s our Whole Foods!
I know
Does that count delis and shit?
haha
Fabio is the winner
in my heart
o it’d be fun to learn to make sushi from tv. Good idea, Gene!
Andie: yeah that’d be cool
Allie: oh theyre all back behind the counter cutting their own meat.
I’m surpirsed they can do that.
For health reasons
Andie: dessert? kiss of death!
don’t you learn Alex?
Allie: I know!!!!
This guy is an asshole
Andie: asshole no – moron yes
Allie: I dont like anyone who obviously wasn’t a Top Chef fan before coming on the show
I find it disrespectful.
And if you make dessert on Top Chef and don’t think you’re gonna go home
then you’ve obviously never watched before.
Andie: Its weird
very weird
how can you be on a show and not watch it?
Allie: like, he’s making creme brulee?
honestly!!??
who in TV land can learn to do that just by watching someone on TV do it?
Andie: especially one as popular as Top Chef?
Allie: People who are desperate for money
see Jamie knows how to play the game
she’s playing it safe
Andie: I was just thinking that
Allie: doing something she’s done before
Andie: right
Allie: You gotta get through the early challenges, even if you don’t win them, you gotta skate through.
Andie: I love the food porn shots
Allie: TORTILLA SOUP!!!!
MY FAVORITE FOOD!!
Andie: I know
so yum
mmmm summer watermelon
why is it winter outside? i want that watermelon!
Allie: my friend Charlie just said, “please don’t put New Jersey in the title of your food”
I think watermelon would make my throat feel better
Andie: New Jersey is actually known for their herloom tomatoes
its a good thing I think for this connotation
Allie: good for you!
uh oh!!
whats going on?
Andie: Tom waking everyone up!
Allie: Ariane is in trouble?
Andie: Tom can wake me up any day
no no no – they are going to do their demo on the today show
Allie: I bet he’d be a bad cuddler
i think he’d like squish you
Andie: noooo he’s a teddy bear
Allie: i dunno
he’s so agressive
Do you think he has a sweet side?
Andie: i don’t get that vibe
i think he’s a nice guy but a tough chef
Allie: I’ll buy that.
Andie: He always seems affable but likes good food
so don’t screw it up if you cook him something before bedtime
Allie: tru dat
I want Tom to make me breakfast in bed
Andie: yesssss
it’d be delish
not that I would know – Craft is still on my to-go-to list
Allie: I used to do that for my parents
like toaste and ceral
cereal
wait
Is this out of order or something?
this seems abrupt
Andie: I don’t think so – let’s see what happens
I know
Allie: weird
no intro
Jamie is earthy cute
o she effed up
I dont get what this is
When do they get to go on the Today Show??
Andie: I know but on tv better to plate then go over
aw Alex screwed up
Allie: figured
Just like we said
Jeff WOULD love this
Andie: Gail is not happy. They all look really awkward
Andie: I guess they go on the Today Show later? we are only half hour in
Allie: Jeff’s food looks really good
Did Staten Island just say “wokka wokka wokka”
I think that whats his name Staten Island is a bear
And that’s all she wrote! Here are the rest of my notes:
Alex is getting married, he’s using it as an excuse to be bad, he reminds me of Howie from season 2, fullllllll of excuses!
Oh the top three get to actually go on the Tody Show! Exciting! Actually, I think I’d rather sleep. I love eating, but if there is one thing I like more than food, its sex. I mean sleep!
Another food spit out? How does this keep happening? If its Ariane, I’m going to feel so bad for her. Can you imagine if that happened to you twice on national Television?
Oh phew, I’m so glad it wasn’t Ariane.
Fabio’s food looks nasty. I feel like I could get that at the Metro Cafe nextdoor to my office. I don’t like the combo of asparagus and tuna, seems nasty. and smelly.
Oh, it was Kathy Lee Gifford who spit Jeff’s food out. She’s mentally handicapped anyway, I dont think she doesn’t counts as a human…these women are fucking annoying. Are they all really on the Today show? Wow.
OH, GO ARIANE!! Everyone likes a comeback! Why is Carla so excited??
JUDGES TABLE: Uh oh, here comes Jamie. I think she’s gonna get super angry. She’s gonna get all Lisa on us.
Actually she’s sort of a good communicator. She kept it together pretty well. Good for you, Jamie.
“The whole point of this competition is to win” – right. Alex did set himself up for failure and his pants are way too short. Get him outta here!
Inedible is a strong word, Rocco.
Why is “throwing under the bus” the only metaphor people know for screwing each other over?
Top Chef relationship is back! I love this porn music in the background. Why do they keep doing these 5 second segments? Are we gonna see a hook up or WHAT?
Alright, Alex is gone. Good riddance. Next week’s episode looks sooooooooooooo girly! Odds are in Fabio the Charmer’s favor.
WOOOOOOWOOOO
-Allie and Andie
The Grocery Hags 