Tag Archives: Bravo

Fabio Wants You to Eat Pizza

Mama Mia! Look what I just found on YumSugar.com! Grocery Hags’ favorite Italian schmoozer is apparently shilling frozen pizzas.

Dr. Oetker, one of Europe’s top frozen pizza brands, is launching its Ristorante line in America, and has called on the reality TV personality to be the spokesperson for the thin-crust pizza. “We feel Fabio is the perfect voice for the brand,” Dr. Oetker USA said in a statement. “He has an incredible personality and a real passion for cooking.”

I don’t know if I’ll buy frozen pizza (in New York?! please) just because Fabs’ face is on the box, but I may try it. You know…because why not? It may make a good blog entry. Maybe we’ll hear more about this at the reunion spesh tonight? CARLA FOR FAN FAVORITE!

WORST. FINALE. EVER!!!

Wow….247 people have already checked this blog for our reaction to last night’s Top Chef, and its not even 10am! I guess you really care what we have to say. That, or you’re just as PISSED as we are and you’re looking for a place to vent. Either way, I think we all agree that the only possible reaction to last night’s Top Chef is: WHAT THE FUCK!?!??!

Never in my life have I been so unhappy at a Final episode of a series.  NEVER. Even the Sopranos ended better than this. My trust/love/respect for this show is shot to hell, truly. It’s been nearly 12 hours and I’m still angry. Mother Trucker!

Oh, you mean some of you don’t know? Ok: The idiot gap toothed baldie bear jerk , with the help of  Top Chef Season 4’s far superior Richard Blais, beat Carla and Stefan for the title.  The judges loved his venison…they loved his red snapper app…they thought his only mistake was serving meat instead of a sweet for his final course, but they loved the damn meat, so they forgave it! And Carla totally bombed. And Stefan shot himself in the foot with this dessert Padma so hilariously described as “Pedestrian at best.” HA! The one bright spot in the show, for me anyway. Padma is so stupid. Anyway…

It just kills me how Casey, Carla’s sous chef, came back and, in her one chance to redeem herself from her shotty showing at her own Top Chef Finale episode in season 3, she COMPLETELY recreated the exact scenario she was in 2 years ago: a strong contender who coulda gone all the way doesn’t cook what she knows how to cook and she ends up in a distant 3rd. So sad.

What killed me is how upset she was.  Carla – what did you learn when cooking for Wylie Dufrense? Jacques Pepin? Freakin  ERIC RIPERt? You succeed when you cook your food!! C’mon, there’s no Love in Sous Vide meat! You don’t do sous Vide meat! And why would you not make a tart!? The judges LOVE your tarts! Seriously Carla: I am so dissapointed.

But you know what? We still love you, HOOTIE – FOREVER! And I’m putting my money on Carla being Fan Favorite next week at the reunion. Screw Fabio. Yes – I said that.

It really sucks that the judges based their final decision on one meal instead of the competition as a whole (especially since they so obviously gave Stefan a pass in order for him to get into the finals) but that’s the TC policy since day one, weather we like it or not, and that’s why this guy is now “Top Chef,”

hosea

And why I have to go barf now.

Please comment and share your angry rants with us. We need to bond together in times like this. Its not healthy to go through these tough moments alone. To quote Harvey Milk, “I KNOW YOU’RE ANGRY! I’M ANGRY!!!!!” Let us heal together. In the comments.

This is not a Butt Rubbing Contest!

A day late, but if you still care I have a few things to say about Wednesday’s Top Chef:

eh hem:

IT ROCKED!

Now, saying that something “rocked” is NOT something I would do normally, but I was so impressed by this weeks TC, that I gotta pull out what is arguably the most embarrassing phrase of all time to explain how much I liked it. I watched it TWICE it was so good!  DAMN! Ok, lets get started.

First – a set change: New Orleans. Top Chef + New Orleans = BRILLIANCE, why did we never think of this before? Is there a more culinarily exciting city in the U.S.? NO! Anyone who has ever eaten a shrimp po-boy from Brother’s, a restaurant so old school it has no website, will agree. DAMN! I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove me some Cajun soul food. New York, you’ve got some amazing restaurants, but I’ll take Jambalaya over $15 Pork Bun any day.

Plus: New Orleans has so much life, It was practically jumping off the screen at me. I love any challenge where catering and large groups of local people are involved. You can always tell the most successful chefs by the opinion of the real people eating their food, particularly when local cuisine is on the menu. But I’m getting ahead of myself, back to the beginning.

The show started off with a great Quickfire, guest-judged by none other than Mr. Nawlins himself, Emeril Lagasse:

BLAM! I mean, BAM!

BLAM! I mean, BAM!

What a fun dude. I’ve never been much for his show on the Food Network, but he really won me over on this Top Chef episode. He was comfortable, kind and fun to watch. GREAT guest judge, and the first Food Network star, I might mention, to grace our little Bravo show. Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse in one season? That’s huge! Who’s next, Paula Dean? Rachael Ray? 30 minute meal quickfire? The possibilities are endless!

OK: so we all should have seen it coming that the last 3 eliminated contestants would be back, but I did not, and I was excited to see only one of them: Jeff, the winking cutiepie:

jeff

I felt so bad when he got kicked off and he was like, “I’ll probably be sad about this for at least 10 years,” so it was nice to see him come back and redeem himself. He deserved it too, unlike Jamie and Leah, at who I would have been annoyed if they’d made it back into the running.

So the 5 new finalists go to a fancy dinner and then they get their challenge: catering! I LOVE catering, and so do Stefan and Carla who had an obvious advantage seeing as they’re both PROFESSIONAL CATERERS. Not to be outdone, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by Hosea, who really seemed to have done his homework before coming to New Orleans. Dude studied up on Cajun/Creole cuisine, which was SMART. As much as I hate to say it, I gott have respect….damnit.

I was underwhelmed last night by Fabio and the magic fauxhawk who made Pasta, AGAIN. I know you’re italian, but come on:

Oh, AMAZING bit of info from Fabio’s exit interview on endlesssimmer.com:

What are you up to now?
I’m getting a lot of offers, being asked to do TV shows, license my image on a line of cooking products, so all kinds of things. I hope you liked my face, because unfortunately, you’re going to be seeing a lot of it.

Another TV show! Tell us more.
Aaah, I can’t say yet, but let me just say – Watch What Happens.

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! FABIO’S COMING TO BRAVO, FULL TIME! Damn, if you didn’t see that coming, you are dumb as hell, or you seriously don’t watch enough TV. But, YAY!! Can’t wait for that shit. You can read the rest of his silly interview here.

Moving on:

All the food the chef’s made last night looked AMAZING: gumbo, corn cakes, cheesy grits and cocktails? Sign me up! But I must say that, as much as I would have liked for Jeff to stay on, Carla’s meal really took the cake.

carla

I mean, girl made deep friend sausage-shrimp balls. What could really be better (and less kosher) than that? NOTHING! Could she really take it all next week?? I dunno!

OH FORGOT TO MENTION: GAIL WAS BACK! yay! Love her! The judges were so much more together with Gail there. Without her, Tom was the only regular judge with any really legitimate things to say about the food. Now we have the Gail and Tom dynamic, which I happen to love, and which seems to shut up Padma (who all the contestants seem to hate, btw) and that’s a good thing.

All in all: I’m happy. I’m exciting. I can’t wait. The finale, the reunion, its gonna be good shit. I’m glad this season is ending with a bang. God now’s my broke ass needs it.

BAM!

UH OH! Breaking News!

tomuhoh

 Tom Colicchio has gotta be shaking in his apron this morning after reading this from NYTimes.com this morning:

 Tom Colicchio, the celebrity restaurateur and judge on Bravo’s popular “Top Chef” television show,was sued in Federal court on Thursday by a former waitress who accused the company of misappropriating employee tips, withholding some overtime pay and sometimes failing to pay minimum wage. Mr. Colicchio’s restaurants — including Craft, Craftbar and Craftsteak — were also named in the lawsuit, shown below.

In the lawsuit, the waitress, Nessa Rapone, who used to work at the bustling, moderately priced Craftbar restaurant at 900 Broadway between 19th and 20th Streets, asserted that the company improperly shared employee tips with supervisors, did not keep proper time records and illegally retaliated by firing her when she protested…

The lawsuit asserted that the alleged unlawful conduct was “pursuant to a corporate policy or practice of minimizing labor costs and denying employees compensation by knowingly violating” federal and state wage and hour laws.”

 

Tom, I’m ashamed! Although not that surprised. My buddy Angu Pagu worked at Craft for a [short] time, and he did not enjoy it one. bit. Maybe his disdain was due to actions such as the ones hi-lited in this law suit.

For shame, Colicchio, for shame!

-Allie

PS: Thanks to Benny for the tip!

Oh Hell

As If I needed another Top Chef related work distraction, I was just doing a little research for tonight’s episode on BRAVOTV.com when I came across the Top Chef Fantasy Game. Great. There goes the next hour.

So the game works like this: each week you pick a team for the week’s episode. My Team is called “NoDesserts.” YA! So, for each episode, each contestant is awarded or subtracted points for adhering to the following: 

What Happened Points
Wins the Elimination Challenge +6
Foo Fighters’ Favorite Dish  +5
Makes a dessert +5
In the top group at Judges’ Table, but not winner  +4
MVC: This week’s Most Valuable Chef  +4
Wins a Quickfire Challenge  +4
Helps a competitor  +3
Featured commenter about guest judge  +3
Featured in a “coming up next” clip +3
Says “I’m not here to make friends”, or a variation +1
First chef in Top Chef kitchen +1
Makes salad or scallop as main dish -1
Gets bleeped -1
Cries -1
Takes a taste from a utensil that is used during preparation -2
Judges say dish is over or under-seasoned -2
Talks back to the Judges’ Table -2
Fights with another contestant -2
Forgets an ingredient  -3
In the bottom group at Judges’ Table, but not eliminated  -4
Eliminated -6

 

Pretty hilarious, right?? And really right on (besides the dessert thing…whats that about) So, if your team wins the most points based on the aforementioned criteria, you win a free copy of the Top Chef Cookbook! And, if you’re the person with the most points at the end of the season, you win $2,500!!!! WOOOOHOOO. Clearly this is so worth my wasted time.

I’m sure you’re dying to know who I picked for my team this week. Well, I’ll tell you. My team is as follows: Stefan, Jamie and Leah. My reasons? Ahem:

1: Stefan

bio_stefan

Stefan is a clear choice for obvious reasons. He is, in my opinion, the best chef on the show. Like Richard Blais before him, he shows a level of culinary skill that is head and shoulders above most of the other contestants, but not all, which is why I’m not declaring him the winner of this season, just an excellent team member. Also, I saw the preview for this week and it looks like the major storyline during the Elimination Challenge revolves around his crush on Jamie, which will win me some “featured in a ‘coming up’ clip” points.  And I think there’s a preeeeetty good chance he’ll say something like, “I’m not here to make friends,” even though I’d bet money that Danny is  our best chance on that front. Moving on!

2: Jamie

jamie

So, Jamie. While I don’t love her personality, I do think she’s a good chef. Maybe even a great one, I don’t know. The stuff with Stefan is a reason I picked her this week (see above) and a reason I will probably keep picking her in general. To take on Stefan, the arrogant European, you need balls, and I think Jamie’s got ’em (insert lesbian joke here). I mean that in the most complimentary of ways, really. Plus, she’s come close to winning some quickfires in past few episodes, so maybe she’ll pull it out tonight. She’s not Stephanie, aka: the love of my life, but she is a strong woman who could go all the way. GO Jamie! …? Alright, finally,

3: Leah

bio_leah

I went back and forth between Leah and Hosea for my the 3rd slot on my team this week, and I think they’re both probably good cooks, but I settled on Leah for two reasons. 1: She’s won the past two quick fires and 2: she’s a girl. Now, usually gender wouldn’t inform my choice, but this week’s Elimination Challenge is a bridal shower for Gail, and I think that a woman chef may have more of a clue as to what ladies like to lunch on. Call it a hunch or a sexist presumption, but that’s what I think.

Now you may be asking: “Why didn’t she pick her clear favorite, Fabio?” Well, I don’t know. While I do think his cooking is good, and I’m sure he’ll charm the PANTS off the ladies at Gail’s lunch (which will lead to even more airtime than usual as the BRAVO people LOVE to showcase him and his Italian bravado) I just see him landing somewhere in the middle this week. I think that now, since we’re approaching episode 5, his Italian fare may start to get old. I could be wrong, we’ll see…but I’ve chosen my choices. I CHOOSE MY CHOICE!

If you want to play along in the fantasy game with me, just click the link above and create a team of your own. Then you can post your team name and members in the comments and we can see who wins. Should be fun!

 T-minus 6 hours.

-Allie

One Hot Saturday Night

Happy “Day Before Top Chef”, everybody! Today I want to tell you about the EXCITING weekend Andie and I had. We went OUT this weekend, you know! Hit the clubz! Drank Red bulls! We caught us some hot studs and we…ok, I have no idea what I’m talking about.

What we actually did this weekend was spend our Saturday night at Whole Foods market on Bowery. Now, regardless of the fact that both Andie and I consider Saturday night at the grocery store a pretty good time, this particular occasion was EXTRA special because we went to see our girl PADMA LAKSHMI do a cooking demonstration from her book, “Tangy, Tart, Hot & Sweet”! Groceries AND a celebrity sighting in one night? GREAT SUCCESS!

So let me start by saying that Padma is about 26 times more beautiful in person than she is on TV. Maybe its because Andie and I were sitting in the second row, seats we came an hour early to procure, that I got such a close up view of her gorgeous and perfect face but whatever it is, I need to know her skincare regimen. This woman is flawless.

Regarding her personality, well, I’ll start by saying that of course the first thing she addressed was Top Chef, and that the very grocery store in which we were sitting was the very one where the Season 5 contestants bought groceries for their ‘Elimination Challenges”!!!! Then she made a joke about Ostridge Eggs. HA! The woman is funny!

Unfortunately, we didn’t really get much of a sense of Padma’s cooking skills, as the “demonstration” of a dish from Padma’s book [sweet potatoes and Lima beans with coriander, lemon juice, cumin, basil and red chillies] was run more by a Whole Foods chef than Padma herself. All she really did was micro-manage the cooking, refuse to answer the question of, “Who wins Season 5?”, and read a story from her cook book in which Padma paints herself as a scrappy Indian kid in L.A. stealing Roses from a neighbor’s garden for Mother’s day. It was cute, actually, and her writing wasn’t too terrible. Its clear that Salman Rushdie married her for her brain, not her looks. ….Right.

All in all, I am much more of a Padma fan now than I ever have been. She seems like a cool chick you could chill with. I mean, you want to hate her because she’s so flipping beautiful, but you just can’t! She’s like one of those girls who only has one close girl friend and about a million dudes who love her [read: want-to-bone-her] because she’s gorgeous, and, well, cool! BRAVO, Padma! You and your sweet potatoes have won us over!

-Allie and Andie

Woohoo!

Woohoo!

The Gorgeous Ms. Lakshmi

The Gorgeous Ms. Lakshmi

Padma's "assistant"
Working together

Working together

Reading from her book, with glasses no less!

Reading from her book, with glasses no less!

I Cheffed the Chef out of that Cheffer!

Hello, Holiday people! We here at Groceryhag.wordpress.com hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving full of Turkey, wine and constipation. Please excuse me for not blogging Top Chef last week. Wednesday night I was at a hotel in the District of Columbia that had the ODDEST selection of TV stations available. 4 ESPNs, C-SPAN, TLC, BIO and The History Channel but no Bravo!? BLASPHEMY! I almost cried. No, seriously, I did. Ask Ben.

Anyway

Andie and I, always looking for new ways to transfer the excitement and energy of Top Chef into blog form, decided to do a live TCGchat this week. I think our conversation is pretty lolzy, and I hope you will too. Unfortunatley, however, we only got half way through the show before Gmail gave out. So you’ll have to scroll to the bottom for my notes on the second half of Episode 4 which we’re calling: “Spitgate, Revisited,” or “How I learned to get passed the haircut and love Ariane.” ENJOY!

Allie: Im here, but i dont feel good so i’m not gonna be that much fun

Andie: hiii. oh boo! Do you want to chat whilst you watch or just watch and comment tomorrow?

me: lets chat a little

Andie: k

Allie: until my computer dies

Andie: k

Allie: where’d you go tonight again?

Andie: Rock center

Allie: o ya

Andie: friend of Brian’s had an office party to watch the tree lightling

Allie: you watched a tree?

Andie: yeah

Allie: was it fun?

Andie: ya!

Allie: did you see Britney?

Andie: on TV, we were far away

Andie: put it on! almost time!

Allie: Ok, here we go!

Andie: wooohooo, Top Chef!
I loved the Foo Fighters after last week. I always had luke warm feelings but now there’s love

Allie: I like that they are obviously fans and they acted like I would have, like smart asses.

Andie: exactly! A smart ass in awe though! I read an interview with Richard who said they really knew their stuff

Allie: I bet

Andie: who knew the foos were such foodies?

Allie: Foo Foodie

Andie: haha

Allie: FOOdie

Andie: Foodie Fighters?

Allie: i almost just typed “doodie”
haha!

Andie: ha ooops
I still laugh everytime Jeffrey winks in the credits
EVERY TIME
who does that?

Allie: Jefferey is the one from Vegas?
o there he is

Andie: Hello, Long Island City!
yeah with the hair

Allie: I like that last week was HAPPY THANKSGIVING but they filmed it in summer

Andie: ha I know
Wait, is Alex not on Team Rainbow?

Allie: nope

Andie: I feel like he should be

Allie: Jamie is the only one left

Andie: I kinda think Alex is closeted on Team Rainbow

Andie: oh FIANCE

Allie: Jamie is like a counselor we had at Ranch Camp
like a lesbian with tattoos

Andie: she is so a camp counsler
hiiii Rocco

Allie: Ya, one who makes string bracelets
I hate Rocco
he’s such an asshole

Andie: Team Rainbow team leader?
I know

Allie: ahhaha Fabio just outed him as “not Italian”

Andie: I don’t think the chefs respect him

Allie: Did you ever watch “The Restaurant”?
Rocco’s reality show about opening his Restaurant that ultimately failed?

Andie: nah

Allie: it was hiarious

Andie: I love breakfast, great Quick Fire.

Allie: It was just his waiters and waitresses hating him and talking shit
Wasn’t Rocco on “Dancing with the Stars”?

Andie: except I prefer brunch
hahah love that

Allie: Eww, Jamie, Chef Boyardee is not breakfast

Andie: I think he was on “Dancing With The Stars,” ya.

Allie: no Beefaroni for breakfast!

Andie: no it isn’t

Allie: I think i’d make an omlette

Andie: I love the word amuse busch
it sounds elegant

Allie: ooo or MIGAS
def. migas

Andie: my favvvvv
I had those in texas – LOE
LOVE I mean

Allie: does Jeff work at a place called the “Dildo Beach Club”?

Andie: that is some good looking bacon

Allie: ????

Andie: what?!?!

Allie: I swear thats what the little tag under his name said
no bacon in Italy? I’m never going to Italy
mmmm Brioche

Andie: guess not
I knowww
mmmmmm baconeggandcheese sammy
the New Yorker knows her stuff

Allie: did you know that 3 of the 4 top chef winnrs graduated from CIA?
I looked it up

Andie: I didn’t
that’s a good fact!

Allie: thank you!
I love Egg in the Hole

Andie: huevos racheros!
I’m shocked the german did that

Allie: I thought Stefan was “Team Europe”
why is he from LA all the sudden?
He’s Finnish, not German

Andie: I guess that’s where he lives?

Allie: He doesn’t get to have it both ways.
Fried potato on every plate

Andie: dude pick a home and stay there!

Allie: potato people are my kind of people

Andie: zuccini flower? interesting….

Allie: ew, not my kind of brekki, no veggies for breakfast.

Andie: chili maple syrup? mmm sounds good Ariane

Allie: stuffed french toast
YUM
Ariane is on a roll, I really didn’t see that coming
ooo BLT breakfast sandwich

Andie: Jaime’s looks burnt, no?

Allie: its balsamic

Andie: ahhhh

Allie: Leah underwhelms me
fried Sage though, yum

Andie: which one is she? New York?

Allie: interesting
she’s from New York, yeah

Andie: oh, Fabs “another Italian!”

Allie: God I love Fabio

Andie: Fabs = Fabio

Allie: What Fabio made looks amazing!

Andie: Woah, Padma knocked him down

Allie: surprise!
they must have slept together already and now she’s over it.
Padma looks gorgeous
so good this season
the New York air works for her

Andie: yeah it does
aw Fabio is such a good loser

Allie: hahahah Fabio!

Andie: well sorta, he started out good

Allie: “bullshit eggs”
mmm my fav

Andie: and then was like “bullshit bacon”

Allie: I’d like to try some fried Sage

Andie: it must have won it for her

Allie: UGH! Rocco’s book!

Andie: seriously everytime Rocco comes on someone “wins” his book

Allie: I hate when they give away their books
I know! It’s dispicable, its like, atleast PRETEND your here for another reason besides promoting your new book, a-hole.” Everyone i’m watching with just went, “UGH!”.

Andie: about the book or about Leah?

Allie: the book
Did you know that Ted Allen can’t come on Top Chef anymore?

Andie: ahhhhhh NOW I know why Rocco is here – its part of the challenge – be in the public
totally makes sense

Allie: b/c he has a new Food Network show

Andie: sad! I love Ted Allen, he’s hilarious
Omg what is Beaker going to do on live TV?!?!

Allie: She’s gonna freak the fuck out, that’s what she’s gonna do.
Ya, his Food Network show is basically a Top Chef rip off

Andie: hilar – can’t wait

Allie: this episode is like, “The Next Food Network Star”
Did you ever watch that?

Andie: a little yeah

Allie: they did this exact challenge, but on Rachael Ray’s show

Andie: Top Chef is better
Yeah, they did. You’re right.

Allie: OMG Fabio is going to have such a hard time with this challenge.

Andie: and Rachael had to prep them or something

Allie: You saw that?
Rachael was just there with them, helping

Andie: on the Next Food Network Star? I think so.
Something similar at least

Allie: ya

Andie: off the reoord: live blogging is hard! paying attention to two things at once?!

Allie: I should go on that show
I know!
just type what you’re thinking
it is hard thoguh
oh shit is this off the record?

Andie: of course
we can delete whatever we want obvi

Allie: no but it won’t save
like in my “chats’ FOLDER
folder
whatever i’ll just paste it into my email

Andie: why won’t it save?
wait – mine may not either – im on gchat not in gmail
hmmm…
i can copy and paste too i think

Allie: o you’re not?
whatever

Andie: I think I can copy and paste too

Allie: I’m sure you can

Andie: ok are you watching this commercial – one restaurant for one day for the next 50 years in NY?
Good thing we likes to eat!

Allie: There’s our Whole Foods!
I know
Does that count delis and shit?
haha
Fabio is the winner
in my heart
o it’d be fun to learn to make sushi from tv. Good idea, Gene!

Andie: yeah that’d be cool

Allie: oh theyre all back behind the counter cutting their own meat.
I’m surpirsed they can do that.
For health reasons

Andie: dessert? kiss of death!
don’t you learn Alex?

Allie: I know!!!!
This guy is an asshole

Andie: asshole no – moron yes

Allie: I dont like anyone who obviously wasn’t a Top Chef fan before coming on the show
I find it disrespectful.
And if you make dessert on Top Chef and don’t think you’re gonna go home
then you’ve obviously never watched before.

Andie: Its weird
very weird
how can you be on a show and not watch it?

Allie: like, he’s making creme brulee?
honestly!!??
who in TV land can learn to do that just by watching someone on TV do it?

Andie: especially one as popular as Top Chef?

Allie: People who are desperate for money
see Jamie knows how to play the game
she’s playing it safe

Andie: I was just thinking that

Allie: doing something she’s done before

Andie: right

Allie: You gotta get through the early challenges, even if you don’t win them, you gotta skate through.

Andie: I love the food porn shots

Allie: TORTILLA SOUP!!!!
MY FAVORITE FOOD!!

Andie: I know
so yum
mmmm summer watermelon
why is it winter outside? i want that watermelon!

Allie: my friend Charlie just said, “please don’t put New Jersey in the title of your food”
I think watermelon would make my throat feel better

Andie: New Jersey is actually known for their herloom tomatoes
its a good thing I think for this connotation

Allie: good for you!
uh oh!!
whats going on?

Andie: Tom waking everyone up!

Allie: Ariane is in trouble?

Andie: Tom can wake me up any day
no no no – they are going to do their demo on the today show

Allie: I bet he’d be a bad cuddler
i think he’d like squish you

Andie: noooo he’s a teddy bear

Allie: i dunno
he’s so agressive
Do you think he has a sweet side?

Andie: i don’t get that vibe
i think he’s a nice guy but a tough chef

Allie: I’ll buy that.

Andie: He always seems affable but likes good food
so don’t screw it up if you cook him something before bedtime

Allie: tru dat
I want Tom to make me breakfast in bed

Andie: yesssss
it’d be delish
not that I would know – Craft is still on my to-go-to list

Allie: I used to do that for my parents
like toaste and ceral
cereal
wait
Is this out of order or something?
this seems abrupt

Andie: I don’t think so – let’s see what happens
I know

Allie: weird
no intro
Jamie is earthy cute
o she effed up
I dont get what this is
When do they get to go on the Today Show??

Andie: I know but on tv better to plate then go over
aw Alex screwed up

Allie: figured
Just like we said
Jeff WOULD love this

Andie: Gail is not happy. They all look really awkward

Andie: I guess they go on the Today Show later? we are only half hour in

Allie: Jeff’s food looks really good
Did Staten Island just say “wokka wokka wokka”
I think that whats his name Staten Island is a bear

And that’s all she wrote! Here are the rest of my notes:

Alex is getting married, he’s using it as an excuse to be bad, he reminds me of Howie from season 2, fullllllll of excuses!

Oh the top three get to actually go on the Tody Show! Exciting! Actually, I think I’d rather sleep. I love eating, but if there is one thing I like more than food, its sex. I mean sleep!

Another food spit out? How does this keep happening? If its Ariane, I’m going to feel so bad for her. Can you imagine if that happened to you twice on national Television?

Oh phew, I’m so glad it wasn’t Ariane.

Fabio’s food looks nasty. I feel like I could get that at the Metro Cafe nextdoor to my office. I don’t like the combo of asparagus and tuna, seems nasty. and smelly.

Oh, it was Kathy Lee Gifford who spit Jeff’s food out. She’s mentally handicapped anyway, I dont think she doesn’t counts as a human…these women are fucking annoying. Are they all really on the Today show? Wow.

OH, GO ARIANE!! Everyone likes a comeback! Why is Carla so excited??

JUDGES TABLE: Uh oh, here comes Jamie. I think she’s gonna get super angry. She’s gonna get all Lisa on us.

Actually she’s sort of a good communicator. She kept it together pretty well. Good for you, Jamie.

“The whole point of this competition is to win” – right. Alex did set himself up for failure and his pants are way too short. Get him outta here!

Inedible is a strong word, Rocco.

Why is “throwing under the bus” the only metaphor people know for screwing each other over?

Top Chef relationship is back! I love this porn music in the background. Why do they keep doing these 5 second segments? Are we gonna see a hook up or WHAT?

Alright, Alex is gone. Good riddance. Next week’s episode looks sooooooooooooo girly! Odds are in Fabio the Charmer’s favor.
WOOOOOOWOOOO

-Allie and Andie