As If I needed another Top Chef related work distraction, I was just doing a little research for tonight’s episode on BRAVOTV.com when I came across the Top Chef Fantasy Game. Great. There goes the next hour.
So the game works like this: each week you pick a team for the week’s episode. My Team is called “NoDesserts.” YA! So, for each episode, each contestant is awarded or subtracted points for adhering to the following:
What Happened Points
Wins the Elimination Challenge +6
Foo Fighters’ Favorite Dish +5
Makes a dessert +5
In the top group at Judges’ Table, but not winner +4
MVC: This week’s Most Valuable Chef +4
Wins a Quickfire Challenge +4
Helps a competitor +3
Featured commenter about guest judge +3
Featured in a “coming up next” clip +3
Says “I’m not here to make friends”, or a variation +1
First chef in Top Chef kitchen +1
Makes salad or scallop as main dish -1
Gets bleeped -1
Takes a taste from a utensil that is used during preparation -2
Judges say dish is over or under-seasoned -2
Talks back to the Judges’ Table -2
Fights with another contestant -2
Forgets an ingredient -3
In the bottom group at Judges’ Table, but not eliminated -4
Pretty hilarious, right?? And really right on (besides the dessert thing…whats that about) So, if your team wins the most points based on the aforementioned criteria, you win a free copy of the Top Chef Cookbook! And, if you’re the person with the most points at the end of the season, you win $2,500!!!! WOOOOHOOO. Clearly this is so worth my wasted time.
I’m sure you’re dying to know who I picked for my team this week. Well, I’ll tell you. My team is as follows: Stefan, Jamie and Leah. My reasons? Ahem:
Stefan is a clear choice for obvious reasons. He is, in my opinion, the best chef on the show. Like Richard Blais before him, he shows a level of culinary skill that is head and shoulders above most of the other contestants, but not all, which is why I’m not declaring him the winner of this season, just an excellent team member. Also, I saw the preview for this week and it looks like the major storyline during the Elimination Challenge revolves around his crush on Jamie, which will win me some “featured in a ‘coming up’ clip” points. And I think there’s a preeeeetty good chance he’ll say something like, “I’m not here to make friends,” even though I’d bet money that Danny is our best chance on that front. Moving on!
So, Jamie. While I don’t love her personality, I do think she’s a good chef. Maybe even a great one, I don’t know. The stuff with Stefan is a reason I picked her this week (see above) and a reason I will probably keep picking her in general. To take on Stefan, the arrogant European, you need balls, and I think Jamie’s got ’em (insert lesbian joke here). I mean that in the most complimentary of ways, really. Plus, she’s come close to winning some quickfires in past few episodes, so maybe she’ll pull it out tonight. She’s not Stephanie, aka: the love of my life, but she is a strong woman who could go all the way. GO Jamie! …? Alright, finally,
I went back and forth between Leah and Hosea for my the 3rd slot on my team this week, and I think they’re both probably good cooks, but I settled on Leah for two reasons. 1: She’s won the past two quick fires and 2: she’s a girl. Now, usually gender wouldn’t inform my choice, but this week’s Elimination Challenge is a bridal shower for Gail, and I think that a woman chef may have more of a clue as to what ladies like to lunch on. Call it a hunch or a sexist presumption, but that’s what I think.
Now you may be asking: “Why didn’t she pick her clear favorite, Fabio?” Well, I don’t know. While I do think his cooking is good, and I’m sure he’ll charm the PANTS off the ladies at Gail’s lunch (which will lead to even more airtime than usual as the BRAVO people LOVE to showcase him and his Italian bravado) I just see him landing somewhere in the middle this week. I think that now, since we’re approaching episode 5, his Italian fare may start to get old. I could be wrong, we’ll see…but I’ve chosen my choices. I CHOOSE MY CHOICE!
If you want to play along in the fantasy game with me, just click the link above and create a team of your own. Then you can post your team name and members in the comments and we can see who wins. Should be fun!
T-minus 6 hours.