Author Archives: rockon211

Why on this night we usually eat bad desserts, when on all other nights we can have cupcakes?

I was so excited to tell you the NYC Bakery Crumbs does a kosher for passover (hag sameach to all you already sick of matzo) CUPCAKE (!!!!) but my friend Julia at Texas Casual beat me to it. So you can read all about them here. Because I’m lazy and don’t have time to give a full review and she does a damn good job.

I learned about these cupcakes my first year in New York and had never been more excited. And yet I’ve never had them. Anyone want to send me one to try? Anyone? Bueller? Ok fine, Passover weekend project :: get dem k for p cupcakes. Because cupcakes > matzo…even when it’s matzo pizza.

Happy almost weekend! Love to my partner in crime who’s in the motherland of Texas =)

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I already told you – Bacon is having a moment

Once upon a time, in the year 2000, the Grocery Hags went to Israel. Once there, I thought to myself “hey, keeping kosher isn’t so hard, maybe I’ll try this.”

Fast forward nine years, I have since become the food-obsessed eater you know today. And since everyone and their dogs have become slightly interested in bacon (and chorizo. and pancetta. and pork belly. and sausage. I would go on but we’d be here awhile), I surrendered.

ANYWAY, the food world’s bacon worship has been going on for a couple of years now. I know you thought the bacon log thing that was all over the internet late last year was the culmination, but oh no.

Enter Bacon Camp.

Where all your dreams come true

Held in San Francisco over the weekend (Broder, why didn’t you go?), it more or less established the Church of Bacon Saints for all those needing to pray. Bacon was eaten in all ways, shapes and forms. I’m assuming there was an EMT or two on call. Can’t decide if I would be in heaven or hell, but this pretty much is a great description of a little nugget of bacon-ness that I find totally intriguing and also completely disgusting:

Appetites were quickly regained to try the chicken fried bacon with sausage gravy, which was so wrong and yet so amazing: Two bites was more than enough to feel like the arteries had been sent directly to hell, but it was definitely worth it. Fortunately, they were nugget-sized, which was actually quite thoughtful.

I would have one bite, I swear. And go straight to the cardiologist.

You can read about it here . Someone get me that Bacon shirt!

Oh, and I made this bacon-free recipe last night. I highly recommend it for anyone who cannot believe it is still so cold outside right now!

Fabio Wants You to Eat Pizza

Mama Mia! Look what I just found on YumSugar.com! Grocery Hags’ favorite Italian schmoozer is apparently shilling frozen pizzas.

Dr. Oetker, one of Europe’s top frozen pizza brands, is launching its Ristorante line in America, and has called on the reality TV personality to be the spokesperson for the thin-crust pizza. “We feel Fabio is the perfect voice for the brand,” Dr. Oetker USA said in a statement. “He has an incredible personality and a real passion for cooking.”

I don’t know if I’ll buy frozen pizza (in New York?! please) just because Fabs’ face is on the box, but I may try it. You know…because why not? It may make a good blog entry. Maybe we’ll hear more about this at the reunion spesh tonight? CARLA FOR FAN FAVORITE!

Another recipe blog

As I eat my leftovers from last night’s dinner, I feel compelled to tell you that you should make this meal. Seriously, it’s that good. And it’s that easy. And it makes enough for lunch the next day (possibly two days if you aren’t a fat kid like me). And, because it’s from Food & Wine magazine, I like to think our girl Gail made it. Hence, if you make this dish, you will be Gail Simmons.

...And be this close to Daddy Tom all the time!

Don’t tell me you don’t have everything – they sell ramen down the street at your bodega and I’m pretty sure you can use any kind of thin spaghetti if you wanted. I used some random Asian noodle from Gourmet Garage. I bought a pound of meat intending to use it all and ended up deciding to freeze half for another day. I didn’t use the Sherry (honestly, who has that?!). If you can’t find baby bok choy (or adult bok choy for that matter), spinach would work too. In fact, I should have thrown the spinach in regardless now that I think about it.

And if you don’t have sesame oil and like to cook anything Asian influenced on a semi-regular basis, I cannot stress how much you need to walk down to a grocery and buy it – you don’t even have to go to the fancy one. It does wonders and makes any stir fry taste that much better. Plus, it’s a strong flavor so you will only use a little and therefore it will last forever.

Ok, I’m done shilling sesame oil and all it’s wonders. But seriously, if you need something good, healthy and filling (and warm! It’s cold in NY) – print this out and get to work.

Top Chef finale tomorrow – who’s winning?!

To Mark Bittman, From the Great State of Texas

Dear Mr. Bittman,

I read the New York Times Dining Section on a weekly basis and enjoy most of the articles. And I usually enjoy your columns. Today’s for instance – I’ve been bored with my breakfast lately and your idea of polenta pizza with bacon seemed mighty tasty.

However once I got to page two of today’s article, I was shocked. SHOCKED. How could a food critic – one that is so well-traveled – describe my favorite meal, migas as the following:

Essentially stir-fried bread: Take 1/2-inch pieces of good whole wheat or rye and cook it in (lots of) olive oil with garlic, crumbled chorizo, or whatever else you like, until the bread is crisp.

Any self respecting Texan knows that this is incorrect information! Mr. Bittman, migas is DELICIOUS, greasy, certainly not healthy breakfast meal – most commonly eaten after a long night of drinking in Austin. It consists of the following:

1. Eggs
2. Beans
3. Salsa
4. Onions
5. Peppers (bell and jalepeno)
6. Tortilla Chips

Please get yourself down to Austin ASAP and visit one of the following: Trudy’s, Juan and a Million, El Arroyo, Taco Shack – I’m sure there are more. The commenters will fill in where my mind is blanking.

Love Always,
An Insulted Lone Star State

Return to Form, Part 2

Ok, so I did all this great editing to Allie’s post below with my thoughts so it just looked like one fapost. But then somehow when I clicked SAVE it didn’t SAVE even though the blog showed me a preview of what said SAVED draft looked like. L’sigh.

Before I even GET INTO my thoughts on Leah still being on the show, I have to ask – did anyone else gasp a little when they saw Fabio with the cell phone of death at the beginning of the show?! That phone used to be a good indicator that the chef holding it is kicking the bucket that night. Fooled me. Well played producers, you get a gold star.

Rendered useless after four seasons of knife-packing fun

Rendered useless after four seasons of knife-packing fun

Anyway, I’m also extremely annoyed with Leah sticking around – especially since next week is the last episode before the finals! Here’s the thing – Jamie knew the minute she was plating that her celery was too salty. If this had been a real restaurant and she was serving real diners instead of judges, she would have started over and gotten it right – and probably would have sent out some free apps or drinks to accomdate those diners that had to wait. But she had to serve what she had made.

Leah, on the other hand, gave up in the quickfire (not her first time giving up, mind you) and it just felt on this side of the TV that she wasn’t trying. I know – the editing, blah blah blah – but she bores me. She’s that girl who says “I suck, I can’t do this, and I’m fat” just so you’ll say “no no honey you’re great, you’re smart, you’re skinny and you’re gonna win this thing!”

And The Kitchen agrees with The Grocery Hags – Carla shoulda coulda won. Apparently, Escobar is a very hard fish to cook. And Carla poached it in oil no less. Stefan may have made his lobster (mmm – lobster) perfectly, but he picked the easier dish. I know he has 20 years of experience and he’s won like 95% of all the challenges this season, but he shouldn’t take the easy way out (another example: last week – picking the girl who got kicked off round one from some season and no one remembers her to cook against).

Ummm – I think that’s it. Oh – and if Carla ever shouted “Hoodie!” at Chef Wonderful Ripet, you know he would should back a perfectly Frenchtastic “Hoodie Hoo.”

DC Celebs that Aren’t Obama

So the Grocery Hags took a lil trip to DC this weekend to have a reunion with their two favorite people. There was shopping, cooking, and of course eating, involved.

Once such eating adventure took us to a burger joint near the Eastern Market. Maybe you know the chef of Good Stuff Eatery?

Complete with Hat

Complete with Hat

Yep – Spike from TC4!!!! He was manning the grill where there was a special Inauguration weekend menu. I clearly had the Obama burger – with red onion marmalade, horseradish mayo, and blue cheese (red, white and blue – GET IT?!?! Not gonna lie…I didn’t at first). It was delish. And Allie enjoyed her Turkey Burger. Plus, fries come with dipping sauces other than ketchup / mustard – Allie loved the Old Bay mayo but I prefered the Chipotle one. Anyone who knows me knows my love of dip – they are key.

I gained a little more respect for Spike (I wasn’t a fan of his last season) while at this restaurant. I loved that he was there, manning the grill, posing for pictures (by our star-struck yet doesn’t really love TC friend), and wearing funny hats. And it’s a family owned place – his adorable father owns the restaurant and spends his days upstairs finding empty tables, cleaning up and generally being a happy camper. After we polished off everything on the table, we chatted with him a bit. Papa Mendelsohn was so proud of Spike and was thrilled when he decided to become a chef. However, Spike apparently didn’t tell the fam he was going to be on Top Chef until AFTER filming. Scandal?